why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars
(Source: superhighschoollevelhope-archive, via flipchiiick)
With money you can buy a house, but not a home.
With money you can buy a clock, but not time.
With money you can buy a bed, but not sleep.
With money you can buy a book, but not knowledge.
With money you can buy a doctor, but not good health.
With money you can buy a position, but not respect.
With money you can buy blood, but not life.
With money you can buy sex, but not love.
(Source: 1000advices.com, via x-tammie)
thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
(via bearfootandtopless)
My pre-calc teacher got kicked out of the movies once for yelling out diving scores during Titanic as people jumped off the boat.
(Source: , via xiisassiix)
